Why I’m Trying To Opt Out of the "Smug Aging" Narrative
As a beauty editor, I love sharing advice about skincare that works, of course, but I’m officially done using my face as a midlife metric of happiness and worthiness.
Anyone else getting extremely tired of social media these days? The competitive algorithm has become so shout-y. Creators and, actually anyone working in media, including me, are desperately trying to get noticed. We need the engagement to earn a decent living. But to be honest, I’m growing tired of being a slave to it.
Turning 50 has really made me think about what I am putting out there on Instagram. I know that my age is my meal ticket to success as a ‘midlife’ Beauty Editor, but I just don’t want to share, what I often see as disingenuous skincare reels with on-screen captions like: “Hard to believe I’m 50: this is what I use on my skin” All while they are accompanied by a flawlessly lit, hyper-smoothed close-up.
To be honest, when I see content like this, my first thought isn’t about the creator’s skincare routine. It’s about the woman watching it. What must that viewer be thinking? “What am I doing wrong? Why don’t I look like that? What do I need to buy?”
It’s the same old comparison trap and it feels a bit smug.
The Reality Check We All Need
We all have days where we look in the mirror and think: “ugh, I look and feel like absolute s*it.” I don’t care who you are, how many serums you own, how much Botox you’ve had, or what year you were born. Hormones shift, stress happens, life shows up on our faces.
When I have those days, the answer isn’t in a miracle cream. It’s about how I talk to myself. It’s about digging deep, accepting the bad day, and intentionally shifting the focus. I look in the mirror and actively choose to find the positives - focusing on what I do like, rather than obsessing over what I don’t.
Writing about beauty in my twenties, thirties, and even my forties felt very different than it does now. Back then, the narrative was often about correction and prevention. But today, while I absolutely want to look and feel the best I possibly can, my perspective has changed.
What a Clear 50 Year Old Mind Has Taught Me
Yes, my job is centered around beauty and skincare, and yes, I will always champion high-performance, science-backed formulas that give midlife skin its glow back. But the truth I’ve come to realize is this: there is only so much beauty you can squeeze out of a bottle.
When you see a woman who looks genuinely beautiful and alive, that glow isn’t just because she applied a retinoid last night or had a luxury facial. The rest of her beauty is made up of the things money can’t buy. It’s the confidence born from doing work that fulfills her. It’s the warmth of being loved by her friends and family. It’s the deep, unshakeable sense of feeling respected by others - and, most importantly, by herself.
That is what actually builds your confidence. Not a smooth and shiny complexion, but a fierce appreciation for the life you’ve built and the woman you’ve become.
I’ve been writing about beauty for over 25 years, and my obsession with brilliant skincare hasn’t changed just because I’ve hit a milestone birthday. Growing older doesn’t mean we stop caring about how we look - far from it. It just means the goalposts have shifted from trying to look 25 again, to looking and feeling like the best possible version of ourselves.
So yes, I am absolutely going to keep testing, reviewing, and sharing the hard-working formulas that I love and are coming right with me into my 50s. But I’m sharing them as tools for self-care, not tokens of perfection. My algorithm (or business) might not thank me, but I want to leave the smug reels behind, and focus on feeding our spirits, and take care of the skin we’re in - during the good and bad days…
Donna
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